Finding beauty from ashes

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

The empty chair

     Of all the roles I play in a day, Id have to say mommy is my favorite. The blessings of being "mom' so outweigh the the pulling your hair out frustrations that come with this title. For the past four years I had added teacher to my resume. I'm not a natural born teacher per say, like some other home school moms I know (and ADORE).
     For me it was a calling, and instruction at the time that I knew within my heart, God wanted me to do. I had always sworn to myself, as a mom of littles, that Id NEVER homeschool my kids. I couldn't do it, I reasoned. Id never have the patience or the know how to be "well equipped" for the job. Along came second grade,a move, a conviction, and I found myself home-schooling. At the time I taught second grade and Kindergarten, with a pre-k & toddler in tow. Ive learned SO many lessons while teaching my kids. Valuable lessons I will never forget and many, many precious memories.

     Fast forward to the present..and I am enrolling my four children into school.  I am left with just my precious two year old to fill my days and this empty chair. My heart is breaking into a million pieces, even though as I write, I know the decision is made. Questions swirl around in my head and I'm plagued with doubt. Will You go with them Jesus? Be there when mommy isn't available? Cover them in the shadow of Your wings? Protect them? My heart is in my throat & I am stepping out in faith. Believing that God will go before them and hedge them in behind. So as we close this life chapter and open yet another, I pine over this empty chair.

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